[Author’s Note: Baseball is back! Kind of. The Seattle Mariners are playing intrasquad games at the moment and streaming them live on YouTube and Twitch. I thought I would try and see if I could write a recap consisting entirely of YouTube comments. Unfortunately, I placed way too much faith in the comments section. Below is a condensed and curated discussion of the three inning game played yesterday afternoon.]
Дмитрий Читая: anyone watching from Russia or Eastern Europe?
Ricky Ricardo: What this franchise needs desperately is a young superstar that the M’s groomed. It’s been way too long!
Ricky Ricardo: Is Kyle Lewis a superstar yet?
FullCount Pros: Kyle Lewis is already a local star.
Zach Crews: @Ricky that’s why we have Kelenic, Rodriguez, Lewis, Hancock, Marte, Gilbert, etc. They’re not superstars yet but they have good chances to be in the next couple of years
Ricky Ricardo: Agree crews. But until I see it I refuse to call them superstars. But I am extremely high on some of these kids
Chris Stalter: There’s no audio yet
Ty Vizenor: There is music. But is faint
Michael Michael: Can’t hear
Chris Stalter: Just stadium music
MrFoulball15: control the zone
Ty Vizenor: DOMINATE the zone
I_isgermanps4 yeet: not gonna lie this is kinda boring
Seattle Mariners: A beautiful day for baseball!
Seattle Mariners: We’ll be starting the stream momentarily
i_isgermanps4 yeet: f in the chat plz
Jacob Bradley: Why would I give you an f? Who are you?
FullCount Pros: Who’s Haggerty?
Ben Day: Haggerty is a new utility plsyer
Ben Day: He’s a player like Dylan Moore and Lopes who can play anywhere
Jacob Bradley: Randy Winn would be nice @Randy
i_isgermanps4 yeet: is that REAL EDGAR MARTINEZ?
Edgar Martinez: Yes it’s really me
BIGS31 Gaming: Edgar I’m your biggest fan no waaaaay
Fizzgig: You guys need to slow down the hype train. This team had Griffey Jr., Edgar and Randy Johnson and still couldn’t make the World Series
Owen Thornton: @Seattle Mariners is this the real edgar
Ben Day: Edgar already said it was
Edgar Martinez: I’ve been verified
Coopie: they need to trade Haniger next year if he has a good year and get a stud pitcher
848ty: McKay is fuqing horrendous
Sc W: bring the umps back
Michael Michael: 3 innings? Don’t they actually need to practice though ?
Scott Mulholland: Look at those trunks on Jrod oof!!
848ty: #FireServais get it trending
Tim Henson: Hi Rick. I was born and raised in Memphis. I met you at the Ballpark dang, years ago
Emily Miller: This is so much better compared to Monday.
Edgar Martinez: [message deleted]
Fizzgig: I thought he was out too. I see the Umps are in mid-season form as well
Michael Michael: This is just practice guys.
Scott Mulholland: error on an infield pop-up, sun was blinding
Chris Hilton: The umps are coaches and staff, complain some more lol
Anon Bot: That wasnt an infield pop up
Blayne Hyatt: is the stream really quiet for anyone else?
Michael Michael: Use your volume
Josh Kang: We already have the best pitching prospects in the MLB
Josh Kang: Kumar Rocker would put us over the top to an Indians type rotation
boone29flip: Ribbi!
LockerRoom: Kelenic auto corrects to Keel Ice
Zach Crews: Hancock is our best pitching prospect even tho we just drafted him. Scouts say he can be the next Verlander
Anon Bot: Hancock should play this year too
William Leigh: hi mariners
William Leigh: its my brithday on july 20th
Axery-_-: Where is the outfield
Kris Valdez: Our bunt game is ready
Maximum18: Hi to everyone at Lookout Landing!
Josh Kang: One move nobody is talking about enough. Bringing back Taijuan
Jacob Tucker: Fuck u
Brutalious: This broadcast is so much better than that cacophonic mess we had yesterday
Rreilly26: BROADCAST – Turn up the sound, im at max and can barely hear!
Zach Crews: I think the WS will be Rays vs Dodgers and Dodgers finally winning it
Kris Valdez: Potential 2023 lineup: 2b long 1b white of kelenic of lewis dh vogey 3b seager of rodriguez c raleigh ss crawford…. YIKES
Chris Stalter: Does anyone know why the NHL team doesn’t have a name yet
Brendan Keyport: Anyone else using headphones turned up to the max and can’t hear a damned thing from the commentators?
Henry Light: We want a batter not a broken ladder
Chris Stalter: Vogey trying to play 1B is the definition of sad
Josh Kang: I wanna see Sam Delaplane he is being slept on
Dead Crow: Fake crowd?! BS!!!!
Josh Kang: brooo
Josh Kang: we got the same name
Josh Kang: No way
Josh Kang: @josh kang bro
Josh Kang: Hahahahaha we related?????
Josh Kang: that’s crazy definitely some connection
Mac Crary: I slept longer than I meant to I see
Hitch Maniger: is this misiewicz pitching?
Y *: The Seattle Mariners outdated logo and colors are very unappealing. it’s not 1981
Tyler Sanada: Volume is so low.. barely hear the commentators.
Tom C: is there beer being served to the 2 fans in the seats?
Y *: Seattle needs a redesign of logo and colors. Especially when all the youngsters turn into stars in the next few years
William Leigh: is mariner moose gana be here
Mac Crary: he comes home
Mac Crary: whoosh
Mac Crary: nice back to back hits
Jack Smith: Home run coming soon
Jarran Arbach: yikes
Anon Bot: KeLeNic sHouLdNt pLaY uNtIl 2022
LockerRoom: Awful at bat
JB’s Card Breaks: Horrible ab needs a couple years to season
Boone29flip: Shake it Off JKEL you’re alright
Ironman Trading: we should just all stay in our homes till 2022
Socalnoles: defense has been atrocious today
Tyler Sanada: Volume still low!
Jason Yang: whos on the mound?
Jack Smith: Mariners have a lot of talent
michael ainsworth: wow well I have had more fun watching paint dry…3 innings of crap and the 60 game season starting in a week…hell with those mariners, good luck mlb creating any interest in 2020
Kristopher Johnson: Lopes is underrated
Scott Mulholland: Don’t say it Rick
Tom C: ruined the no no
Scott Mulholland: There you go Rizz
Billy Zimmer: Rizzs in midseason form!
Y *: Did some moron really say contol doesn’t = money. I’m done lmao
Russell Hartness: Y theres a reason why everyone is blocking you. You simply dont get it
Y *: Russell you are embarrassing yourself and M’s fans
Russell Hartness: says the guy who wants to waste 2 years of clubs best prospect.
Y *: Russell Hartness is one of those low IQ M’s fans
Louis Wu: just got in. Anyone got the score?
Grip: russell u clown shut ur hole
Jr Smile: Would be a fun world series Mariners vs Cubs
Crystal Pepsi: everyone in this chat is suddenly a GM lmao
Alex Oroszlan: JULIOO
Derekb123: nice triple
Derekb123: ah double
LockerRoom: Third ball in three innings over the defenses head.
Skewed and Reviewed Gareth Von Kallenbach: well hit but I think most CF would have got it
Scott Mulholland: Julio reminds me of a more athletic Miggy
Zach Crews: Ok Julio definitely should not be called up he still like 18 or 19 and that was his first hit in summer camp even tho Julio will be very good in the future
MrFoulball15: you guys think they are junior, Edgar, and bone reborn! maybe! crazy game we are dedicated to let’s see
Jack Smith: Hey @mariners
Ralph Gomez: Hi, but who is suppose to be the next Willie Mays?
IRL Street Fights: kyle seager is a bum
Ralph Gomez: Yes, but one of these announcers said that on these Mariners is suppose to be the next WILLY MAYS…Who?
Tom C: any guys here from the seattle mariners rebuild facebook group?
IRL Street Fights: @Ralph Gomez he was talking about kerby puckett
Jack Smith: Yes i am
Tom C: thought yoru name looked familer ))
Jack Smith: Wait no wrong page
Derekb123: is anyone doing the seatfleet
Josh Bal: lM doin seat fleet
Ricky Ricardo: Give me Bryant at 3rd and Noah as the ace next year
Mac Crary: what’s Kelenic’s nick?
Donny Berlinger: Syndergaard is a beast who’s a met for life
Ricky Ricardo: Nope Noah will be a free agent
Mac Crary: you don’t know what goes on in these guy’s hearts
Ricky Ricardo: We need an ace and will have the money for it. Go get Noah
Mac Crary: Maybe Noah wants to be a Padre
Jason Yang: if graveman and walker do well should we give them a long-term contract
Tom C: lets save it for the astros guys
Tom C: we don’t need to bean our own guys
Tom C: bunting fail
Fizbigibbins: This game has more endings than The Return of the King.
Tony: bunt with 2 outs?
Brian Sieczkowski: bunt with 2 strikes?
Mac Crary: prompt
Mac Crary: ribbit
Mac Crary: bark
Mac Crary: prompt
Aaron ‘Marth8880’ Gilbert: wtf that donkey doing
비둘기의꿈申康優: Deer?
Anon Bot: Moose bro
비둘기의꿈申康優: Moose, oh,
Beetent: thanks for the strim
Categories: Whole-assed analysis
