Whatup nerds, it’s your dear acquaintance Scott George — there are two Scotts here, so SG is fine — and I’m responding to a message from God to answer some questions y’all have here at this very website dome AND bedlam dot com. I’m a busy person, a man of business, and quite the man about town, but the hope is to do this, and a few other projects on the site, semi-regularly. One of which I’m excited to talk more in depth about NEXT WEEK. (MAYBE.)

The main has reached out to the public, and to my surprise, people did actually ask some questions. I didn’t get to all of them (because frankly, I’m in charge), but let’s pick our first with the claw machine.

What’s your favorite shirsey you own and which do you regret the most? – Doug Franz (@dougfranz)

This is a wonderful question. I do have a substantial amount of shirseys from ALL walks of life. In fact, I am currently sporting a Deron Williams Brooklyn Nets one (could possibly be a regrettable one). But as directed, I am supposed to have fun near the Seattle Mariners, so let’s do some inventory. In my lifetime, from what hasn’t been wiped from my Whiteclaw-addled brain, I have owned the following Seattle Mariners shirseys:

• Ken Griffey, Jr.
• Félix Hernández
• Carl Everett
• Cliff Lee
• Ben Davis
• Fernando Rodney
• Adrián Beltré (#5, the real ones know)
• Ryan Rowland-Smith
• Dustin Ackley
• Jesús Montero
• Robinson Canó

Quite a few, and believe me they have fluctuated in size more often than I’d like to admit. Some have been converted into workout shirts, and I apologize to the players personally, while some will still be worn if I’m going to meet the prime minister or something.

Seeing this lineup, there are tons of regrettable ones, sure. Carl Everett was the result of young poor judgement in more ways than one. But I feel like I was going through different phases in life as I acquired each. The one that stays in the rotation probably the most is the Hernández one (so timeless, great number, etc.) or maybe the RRS one, which is worn while running sometimes. (Sorry Ryan Rowland-Smith.) The Rodney one also gets a lot of play because it’s in that cream colorway — more on this later.

I’d argue it’s tough to commit to buying a shirsey these days. With a fickle front office, it’s tough to want to get a current player, and nobody is really wearing a COOL NUMBER these days. The reason I gravitated toward the Montero shirsey was because he was somehow wearing #63.

What is the most aesthetically pleasing possible record for the Mariners this year? – Brown Kia Sportage Fan (@hdr0bot)

I think about this sort of thing a lot — lotta cool combos that lead to 60. You can call a .500 season a documentary year (30-30) or you could argue the most aesthetically pleasing season ends in a division win, regardless of the numbers. Let the aesthetics be the product on the field. But because I can’t make a 69 out of 60 games, I’ll probably have to say 40-20, and we can proudly say we’ve blazed up the AL and NL West.

Let’s say you’re told with certainty (crystal ball) that the M’s will win a WS in a 162-game season in the next 10 years. The same crystal ball also says the M’s will win the 2020 title. It ALSO allows you to prevent this year’s championship run from happening. What do you do? – Mike Bookey (@MikeBookey)

Not sure what it says about me, but this is the second time this week someone has tried to use some sort of dark magic on me. I had an awkward unsolicited tarot card reading, as well. I’d argue the answer is pretty obvious — you’ll want the hard-earned, 162-game World Series title. From a social circle standpoint, if you don’t surround yourself with Mariners fans you’re going to get dunked on early and often when you wear any 2020 World Series Champions gear. I’m looking out for your best interest there.

Describe the fit for your fan cutout. – Adam Wright (@at0m_is_here)

I’ve thought about this one for a few minutes, as well. Considering they will probably only be from the waist up, I won’t try to bring any heat from a sneaker standpoint, and we’ve gone over the various shirsey options I have. But I think it would be more fun to recreate something, if possible.

I remember seeing this vending machine at Colman Dock as a child when I would take the ferry back to Bremerton after Mariners games and thinking two things: How did he get those bottles of Dew to explode? And do I have enough change for a Pepsi?

I feel like taking my head and putting it over Buhner’s image, even if I’m a little more jacked, would be just what the doctor ordered. We would probably have to do some branding changes, but I could make it work. In fact, here is a rough draft. Shout out to the sponsor.

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This will probably wrap things up for today. I would like to get a few of these running semi-regularly, but anybody that knows me IRL knows committing is never the move with me, so I’ll leave this pretty open-ended. Keep an eye on the Dome and Bedlam Twitter and Instagram accounts for future calls for the ol’ mailbeg.