During this week’s episode of the Dome & Bedlam podcast, Scott Weber argued that now would be the perfect time for the Mariners to change their uniforms. This is not a new sentiment, fans here and there have been begging the Mariners to update their look for a significant time now.

Here at Dome & Bedlam, we have decided to push the process along for the Mariners by presenting five potential options to get the franchise moving forward and looking like their best selves as they navigate this new era of Mariners baseball.

Option #1: Turn back the clock and roll back the sleeves 

Perhaps the Mariners don’t need to look very far for their next venture into uniform design. 

You see, Seattle once possessed a perfect uniform, one that was on the cutting edge of performance, fashion, and flexibility. The benefits to the jersey design specifically were endless. Players moved their arms freely. Some fans were able to flex their progress at the gym. Other fans were able to mix-and-match undershirts to achieve a perfect aesthetic. 

I’m speaking, of course, of the vest-based uniforms of the mid-90s:

Pros: 

• Evan White is already a joy to watch at the lukewarm corner. Could you imagine the type of plays he’d be able to pull off if he wasn’t being weighed down by sleeves, one of the worst social constructs that exists in sports? 

• The reduction in fabric would present the opportunity to save money on production costs. For the Mariners–who are clearly struggling financially–every dollar counts. Forty years of vest jerseys could land them Bryce Harper III in 2060. 

• This team has already built a strong identity around remembering that the 90s happened. Bringing the best jerseys from that era back feels like the next natural step in this process. 

Cons:

• This is not a full redesign. You’re basically just chopping the sleeves off the current uniforms, which doesn’t feel like it will make people forget that the Mariners are the Mariners. 
• As a fan, would I be able to purchase the official undershirt of the Mariners to go along with it, or do I need to purchase it separately? Is there a package deal? Is there a special? I have a lot of questions here.

Option #2: Go to college

I love college baseball dearly. It’s so very close to baseball perfection for me, which is why I propose the Mariners simply steal from it. One of the first things that will stick out to you about the college game–aside from the bats going ‘PING’–is the abundance of uniforms that exist at every school. Virtually every D1 program has an endless assortment of hats and jerseys to choose from. Some are bad! Some are good! Some are just asking to be stolen by the Mariners. 

Two specific schools that come to mind are UNC-Wilmington and Coastal Carolina:

Pros:

• There are so many to choose from! They aren’t all winners, but the Mariners just need to find 2 or 3 in the bunch that they enjoy.

• The variety allows mass fan appeal. Do you like broad stripes? I know just the jersey for you! Cursive? We’ve got it. Big fan of teal? Oh, buddy, have you come to the right place. Revisiting your goth phase from high school, but still need to support your baseball club? That will not be a problem. 

Cons:

• College baseball uniform aesthetics might be a little funky in Major League Baseball, but we also let the Arizona Diamondbacks exist, so who’s to say there is no place for them? 

• Having so many good uniforms may be daunting to me as a fan, as crippling indecisiveness may prevent me from ever spending a dime. 

Option #3: Full autonomy

Why should WE determine what the Mariners wear? At the end of the day, the players are the ones who have to wear it. With this in mind, I say we provide each Mariner with a blank white jersey and some fabric pens before each game and call it a day.

Pros: 

• Players get to express themselves!
• New jerseys every night!
• The team store would be able to sell any that were even slightly good!

Cons:

• I can not think of a single negative that might result from this approach 

Option #4: Embrace the Marlins

Confusing the Mariners and Marlins when reading a baseball headline is a tale as old as time. Why not take it one step further? 

Pros:

• Are you sick of watching the Seattle Mariners? Now, you’ll be able to pretend they’re the Miami Marlins! How interesting! 
• The Miami Marlins once acted as the home team for an entire weekend at T-Mobile Park, so there is already a small, established group of fans that would welcome the Seattlemi Marliners with open arms. 
• Everyone looks good in orange

Cons:

• People may think the Mariners are affiliated with the state of Florida.
• Even worse, people may think the Mariners are affiliated with Derek Jeter.

Option #5: Theft

It’s no secret at this point: in the world of Twitter, the Mariners don’t even get to call the #Mariners hashtag their own.

The little logo next to the Mariners hashtag belongs to Mohun Bagan Athletic Club, a sports club in India. 

Now, to be fair, this sports club has been around significantly longer than the Mariners–it was founded in 1889 and stretches across multiple sports–but the lack of the navy ‘S’ logo next to the hashtag still gets a chuckle out of most. 

I know very little about how the business side of Twitter works, but for the sake of this argument, I am going to pretend I am an expert. The Mariners have two options here:

1. Throw all the money in the world at Mr. Twitter and demand the hashtag. This seems less realistic considering the Mariners are hurting financially on such a deep level. 
2. Steal the logo as your own and claim it was yours all along. 

Pros:

• The Twitter aesthetic would be off-the-charts, and there is nothing more important than looking good on Twitter.
• Red and green is an outstanding color scheme.

Cons:

• I’m sure they would get sued or something, but again, that’s a small price to pay for Twitter clout.